Arranged Marriage: Simplified.

Arranged marriage is a term which needs not much description, but a lot of analysis.

But wikipedia sure helps! The first two lines are as follows:

"An arranged marriage is one in which someone other than the couple getting married makes the selection of the persons to be wed, meanwhile curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship." - Wikipedia

In other words, arranged marriage is a form of marriage where your life/sexual/mental/spiritual partner, either a male or a female, as the case may be is chosen by someone other than you (and when it is someone, does it even matter as to who decides?). However, for the sake of defining lets say that the someone could be parents, the elderly, the wikipedia also says that it could be a trusted third party, or even a matrimonial site!

"I am from India, so probably my dear readers from The US, The UK, Russia, Africa, Singapore and Malaysia and Europe might find this a little confusing, or worse, irrelevant. Well, that's because you are reading across cultures. No problem! Have fun!"

How or why this happens, is rather interesting to think about.

1. It could be because the parents or the elderly have not imparted on their children, the right set of maturity and the discipline to decide their pair for life with absolute confidence and more importantly not basing their decisions upon superficial qualities of their partner.

2. Or it could be well the extension of the generic template based on which we live our lives. The generic template is as below: [ this is not an exhaustive list, you could add designs from your template as well, as comments ]
The template begins...
  • Baby is born, name it. But name it by only those names that are within the realms of your religion, caste, creed, and family. A Christian can't name his daughter Mrishti, can he? No No No..! thats against the English grammar rules! 
  • Baby has grown, School it. Force it to get centum (a.k.a 100%) 
  • Don't relate to the kid and don't try to comprehend him/her, but just ensure he/she studies to become a doctor or an engineer (any professional degree). 
  • Study to become an engineer, choose any field that interests you. But you better accept the IT job you get as placement offer in your third year of college (with one year still left to complete the field of interest, you sure know that you will end up in IT, a field totally irrelevant). 
  • If not placed? Parents will get you a job. 
  • What if you can't love? Parents will get you a guy/girl. 
  • What if you are able enough to love? Parents will still get you a guy/girl. 
  • Why IT? Who else pays you so good? And hence IT. 
  • Why Arranged marriage? Who else pays you so good? And hence Arranged marriage. 
  • Get huge sums of dowry from the female party, and claim that the male is the "Real male" in the relationship. Feeding her with her own money! She knows by now what a jackass you are. 
  • Carry on the strained relationship till the end of your lives (death or divorce), whichever comes earlier. 

A few more thoughts...

The diagram to the right is a Maslow's pyramid, it has its purposes in the end of the blogpost...

  • You get 'arranged' married, and spend your first night with a woman/man, whose biological smell you are not sure of. How is this any different from an intercourse with a sex worker? 
  • You like it or dislike it, you got to spend your remaining years with her/him. 
  • Your body instinctively, biologically and sexually knows, who's your identical genetic match for sexual intercourse, and the ultimacy in marriage is producing a healthy progeny (kid(s)). How did your relatives, who chose your pair know that?! How wise! 
  • You definitely can't divorce her/him. Why? Because it may be a disgrace to the long held respect your family has gathered over so many years, by being the great-ones who have compromised their own and possibly their respective partner's happiness for the sake of family pride and the well being of the societal setup. 
  • What is a society? You, me and similar things put together. 
  • So if you are unhappy with your partner, won't that be a flaw you are creating in the society? 
  • Or lets say, years of living and maturity have imparted onto you the ability to the able to forget the past and move on fast into the future. So how do you handle it? Do you fantasize being with your lover, every time you are entwined with your spouse. Oh, is that why people close their eyes when they kiss?! 
  • How can someone other than you know your ups, downs, mood swings, your dark side, possibly the fact that you are a serial killer or a rapist, or someone who's ultimate idea is to get knocked up in a drunk state? And how can such a someone choose your partner. More importantly, how do you think this will hold good? 
  •'s_hierarchy_of_needs The link leads you to Maslow's Pyramid. In an unhappy arranged marriage, the basic needs will fumble. Then how can a society comprising of such fumbled entities ever have a stable Pyramid in place? 

Have a happy arranged married life.

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